Most women, especially in my age bracket (early 20’s), prefer to have long hair. Assuming that a blind women in my age bracket was on the dating market, you’d think that they’d want to have long hair. Now thinking that a blind person can’t see what their doing to their hair, I’d have to assume that they either look like Edward Scissorhands all the time, or they have a friend, family member, or stylist style their hair.

Of course, they might have given up on dating all together and adopted the flat top. It’s just easy maintenance and it eliminates burdening their friends and family members. Believe me when I say that’s an awesome route to go. When my hair gets long, I have no idea how to manage it so I just cut it the hell off. But you’ve got to believe that no guy is gonna want Jamie Lee Curtis stumbling her way over to him, knocking stuff over with her walking stick.

If I saw a blind women with a crew cut straight out of the GI handbook, I would get depressed. They have given up. So, if you ever see a blind women with beautiful hair, it should put a smile on your face. They can “see” the bright side, so why shouldn’t you?

I think this is really cool. It must be a historical fact that attack dogs were used on the front line or else there would be no reason for them to be in the game. Defending yourself against the dogs isn’t too hard because they jump at you, but they are fast.

The really awful (therefore funny) part about this is that the preferred way to kill the dogs is stabbing them. War isn’t pretty and animals are included. They give out this guttural yelp that would make you absolutely cringe if you heard it in the outside world. It’s so realistic to me that I believe that PETA is up in arms about this so-called “animal cruelty”. How could they not be? They seem to raise cain over seemingly trivial things. It disguises the actual good work they might do.

You know what I say? Eat THAT you dumb video game dog!

I’ve loved Scrubs since the first season. My love had to be rekindled for it when the DVD’s came out because NBC moved Scrubs from Tuesday to Thursday and back and forth so many times in the first three years that I couldn’t keep up. But I loved it and I tried to keep in touch with it. There is so many things to like about it, but most of all, every character exhibits at least one flaw that I see in myself so it’s very easy to become emotionally invested.

This concept jumped the shark the seventh season. You could almost feel the tension between Lawrence and NBC in the writing. NBC didn’t want to keep Scrubs anymore and Lawrence felt like he was getting the shaft. It was as if the seventh was gonna be the last. The writers strike enhanced it ten-fold.

Season eight has re-ignited the fire that I had for Scrubs. It’s like a whole new show. The gags have decreased a bit while we get invested in new characters (the new interns, Ted’s girlfriend) and the other character’s storylines wind down.

After the abomination that was the seventh season and the talent of the writing staff, it’s easy to think that Scrubs could reinvent itself and get back on it’s feet. The causes of abomination causes me to wonder, did Scrubs jump the shark in the first place?

I totally understand the concept. The stereotype of “the pretty people” is that they are self-centered, narcissistic, ego-maniacs and Ashton Kutcher, being one of those “pretty people” might be trying to use the medium of television to attempt a social experiment to hopefully de-bunk that stereotype. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that he’s actually trying to get people to take HIM seriously as a smart person.

I don’t normally watch reality shows. Since True Beauty is on after Scrubs added to the fact that I don’t have cable and I love big knockers, I decided to watch the show. After about 15 minutes, I wanted to punch someone in the face. The Laura chick needs a kick to the skull like a diabetes victim needs insulin. The rest were pretty predictable because of the previously held stereotype of “pretty people”.

The grand prize at the end of the run of this “contest” is $100,000 and a spot on People Magazine’s 50 Most Beautiful People List. Just think about this for a second. They are gonna give a person, who basically has had everything handed to them from about middle school on, 100 G’s, a spot in a very popular magazine, and let’s not forget 15 minutes of fame for not being a complete asshole for 2-3 weeks. I emphasize complete because most of the people on the show are a-holes the entire run of the show, but the winner gets the prize because they weren’t a complete a-hole. I’d stop being a complete a-hole for a couple weeks for 100 grand the candy bar let alone the money, just as long as I can still be kind of an a-hole. It’s my favorite.

If the winner improves 100% in the areas of empathy, maturity, self-awareness, it would be a significant difference for them, because 4 is more than 3 on a scale of 1 to 100.

For this reason, I don’t believe that anybody is really trying to get these people to do good for their fellow man. The producers aren’t looking to make someone do a 180 turn and show empathy for the first time in their lives. This is just another reality show where we make fun of people that we can feel good about “being better than” and stand on our “pedestals” and look down on these “awful” people.

I’m just so glad that a person, who would never take the time of day to talk to me, might now think about it before scoffing and turning their nose up at me before not talking to me. And has $100,000 because they thought about it.

Hugh Laurie plays House brilliantly. He commits to the arrogance, the utter disdain for others, and the complete obsession with diagnosing the most complex medical mysteries in addition to the internal struggles of pain and addiction with the general feeling of being completely miserable. It’s funny too how miserable he is, but he isn’t depressed. A man that confident in his abilities and that arrogant to circumvent the rules whenever necessary can’t be depressed. Miserable? Sure. Heavy is the head that wears the crown, I guess.

The character is also very witty. In a lot of ways, House is a comedy. There was one episode where a 15 year-old supermodel had collapsed on the runway after punching out another model. House interrogated her father and eventually got the confession of the father having sex with his daughter. Later, when the team had done the final diagnostic differential (when they throw ideas back and forth) they decided she needed another MRI. What they found was cancer, and here’s the twist, in “her” testicles. Now, I don’t remember the medical terminology of why this was, but in the womb we all start out as girls, but the ovaries eventually become testicles in boys. Every 1 in 10,000 has an immunity to testosterone, so “his/her” testicles never descended and having pure estrogen gave her immaculate female features. When House gave this reveal to the father, the father asked, “Is this a joke?” House being who is and not caring who he cuts down quipped back, “No. A joke would be me calling you a homo.”
That line gives that episode the “favorite of the series” status.

Another thing to like about House, MD is the hot chicks. Jennifer Morrison (the blonde chick from Grind) is attractive, but her character is a whiny bitch. Lisa Edelstein has it going on for an older woman. My love, though, is with “Thirteen” Olivia Wilde. Move over Mandy Moore, I’ve got a new celebrity crush. I can’t really comprehend totally why I like her so much. It might be the AWESOME lesbian trysts that she had in one episode. It might be the vibe of vulnerable strength that she gives off. I also have no idea what that means. She is just smokin’ HOT.

Overall, House is in my top five shows right now. In so receiving the coveted status of Current Top Five it will also receive the most prestigious review of five Dwight Heads.

This is a discussion that I feel we need to have. Nickelback, in my mind, is one of the most polarizing bands on the face of the planet. I’m going to lump them in with Dave Matthews Band, Hoobastank, and Linkin Park. These bands are extremely popular yet a lot of people think they suck. Why is this? It’s nothing new but music is a subjective area. Everyone has their tastes. A person who was raised in a violent household or got little attention as a child, will relate to Linkin Park or emo bands.

For the most part, I like popular music. I like Nickelback, Hoobastank, and Linkin Park to some extent. Their songs take me back to a time when I was gaining favor socially with most of the friends that I have today. It’s a nostalgia based appeal to me. I compare it to the way that Journey is popular now. On an episode of Family Guy, the gang sang karaoke in a bar, the song being Journey’s “Can’t Stop Believing”. It’s all of a sudden popular now. Why? Nostalgia. Rick Astley. Same thing. I guarantee in like 10 to 15 years we’ll all be saying the sentence, “Boy I remember this song,” to a lame Nickelback ballad.

Music is the only area of life where you can basically cut someone down for liking something you don’t. I guess you can do that with any kind of art, but music is the big one. So to conclude, when you say a band sucks, just remember your band sucks too.

I’ve only watched hockey on tv so I didn’t really know what to expect. First, this was the first time I had been in the Qwest Center. The Qwest Center is home to the NCAA Volleyball championships and the first round of the NCAA Basketball tournament, so it’s a pretty reputable place. The outside of the arena looks really good, I was very impressed with it. It’s far and away better then the other arenas that I’ve been in (The Devaney Center and Pershing Auditorium). Of course, it’s not saying much because those places are at least thirty years old and Qwest is about five years old, if that.

My roommate and I sat in the student section where the students were being obnoxiously supportive of the team by standing and ringing cowbells. They ring cowbells because the mascot is a maverick and apparently a maverick is a bull. This also happened to be “More Cowbell” night, so the jumbotron obnoxiously played the SNL sketch with Chris Walken where they have the Behind the Music of Blue Oyster Cult and the inexplicable cowbell track on the song “Don’t Fear the Reaper”. This has been so played out, it’s become stupid.

We were about seven rows behind the ice and I could barely see a thing. Between the students standing and two hot chicks being incredibly annoying and having hot asses, it was impossible to pay attention.

From what I know watching ESPN, Michigan State is supposed to have a really good hockey team, but they didn’t show it last night, getting the crap kicked out of them 7-1. Only seeing one game and it having such an extraordinary score, I can’t really tell if this makes UNO good or Michigan State bad. Looking up rankings, UNO is 19th out of about 60 teams where as MSU is about 30th, so it looks like the media believes UNO is better. One stat jumped out at me. UNO has given up the first goal in 8 of 11 games this season, and they just so happen to have eight wins versus two losses and a tie. This leads me to believe that they can play without a lead and still win games.

Overall, the game was just something to do. It was hard to get exciting for a game that I have no emotional investment in. It wasn’t a Husker game and it wasn’t football. Hockey just isn’t exciting without hard hits and a better vantage point to see them. Mostly, what I got out of the game was that I really need a girlfriend. I spent the entire game staring at hot chicks’ asses. There was one who was literally six feet tall. Oh my gosh. My tongue was on the floor with my jaw in my lap. HOT!!!!!!

In the end, eff hockey. It’s stupid. But, I’ll probably go again because of the hot chicks’ asses.

Image source: University of Nebraska at Omaha Athletic Department

Taking a page out of Borat’s playbook, I introduce you to the smear campaign that the McCain-Palin camp has entrenched themselves in since the last presidential debate. Before the debate started that day, Obama was greeting several well-wishers and someone had a question for him. The man introduced himself as Joe, a hard-working plumber, who had some questions about Obama’s tax plan. No problem for a well-spoken Obama to handle.

Quoting from that same Chicago Tribune article:

John Bachtell, the Illinois organizer for Communist Party USA, sees attempts by Sen. John McCain’s campaign to label Obama a socialist as both offensive to socialists and a desperate ploy to tap into fears of voters who haven’t forgotten their Cold War rhetoric.

“Red baiting is really the last refuge of scoundrels,” Bachtell said. “It has nothing to do with the issues that are confronting the American people right now. It’s just a big diversion.”

Further along:

Bruce Carruthers, a sociology professor at Northwestern University: “Obama is like a center-liberal Democrat, and he is certainly not looking to overthrow capitalism. My goodness, he wouldn’t have the support of someone like The Wizard of Omaha, Warren Buffet, if he truly was going to overthrow capitalism.”

Of course, I don’t believe for a second that Obama is a socialist. Reading up on the pros and cons of spreading the wealth and concentrating it anywhere along the economic classes, I found an article that explains it. Most people will say that it’s bogus because it comes from very-left leaning Huffington Post, but it’s the only article that makes sense to me. In Robert McElvaine’s “‘Spreading the Wealth Around’: Just What Ailing Economy Needs“, he references history in explaining that concentrating the wealth in the higher tax bracket doesn’t work because quote: “An economy based on mass production requires mass consumption, and mass consumption is only possible when income is ’spread around.’”

Further along in Robert’s article:

Tax cuts for the highest income brackets and opposition to labor unions and to any government regulation of the market were the orders of the day under the Republican governments of the 1920s, as they have been under the Republican government of the 2000s.

Those policies accomplished the opposite of “spreading the wealth around.” By 1928, the richest 10 percent of Americans was taking in almost half of the nation’s income. The economy was kept going only by the extension of credit to middle-class buyers. When the credit bubble burst in 1929, the economy collapsed.

Very much the same thing has happened in the present decade. By 2005, income concentration had actually become somewhat greater than it had been just before the 1929 collapse. In 2005, the richest 1 percent of Americans took in 22 percent of the national income, while the top 10 percent made off with more than 48 percent.

Should anyone still be tempted to think that “spreading the wealth around” has been the problem, consider the following trends:

In 1964 the ratio of executive to employee compensation in the United States was 24:1. In 2005, it was 262:1.

Between 2000 and 2005, median CEO compensation increased by 84 percent, while median worker pay was stagnant, actually falling slightly, by 0.3 percent.

Between 1970 and 2003, the compensation of the top 100 CEOs in the United States increased 83 times faster than did the average wage.

The McCain-Palin camp has had nothing to go on since the the “newness” of the veep’s candidacy wore off. They’ve been trailing big ever since so they went into two-minute drill, down by 21, hail-mary mode, which of course means the “Who is Barack Obama?” and the “He’s a socialist” heaves of desperation. My feelings can be best described by a socialist quoted in the Chicago Tribune article

“The whole point of his policies don’t really represent the political economy of the working class,” said Robert Roman, who edits the newsletter of the roughly 250-member Chicago chapter of the Democratic Socialists of America. “Obama’s going to be a person who represents all of us, he’s going to be representing the interest of the capitalists as well as the working people. He’s not really talking about transforming society beyond capitalism.”

Capitalism, in it’s pure form, can not work. The economy is more volatile than a four year-old who’s been drinking soda for the last 48 hours. It needs regulation. If anything, some industries need to be nationalized (the oil industry) and most need to be privatized (alternate energy and the banks). Come on Barack. Give us the change we need.

Here’s their latest video as of today:

Wow! First of all, this particular video is awesome. Sam Reich (the bearded guy) was really good in this video. One of their best so far. Here’s the real review. I like these guys. The characters are good even though there isn’t a lot to them. Amir is a crazy person and loves Jake like Dick Cheney like eating babies. There are a lot more hits then misses and there is a lot of misses, but the thing though is these guys aren’t professionals. Well, they kind of are. They write for CollegeHumor, but they aren’t actors or nor have they been writers for very long. Jake is my age. It’s ridiculous. What am I doing with my life?

Do these guys have staying power in the fickle internet comedy industry? Well, I think they’re funny and it shows because they’ve been doing their series for over a year, but I don’t think they can last beyond 2010. Time will tell if they can last through 2009. I hope they can make big names of themselves elsewhere though.

Rating: 3 1/2 Dwight Heads

The thing I like about The Daily Show is that, in my opinion, its basic principle is to bring attention to people about the hypocrisy of television news. Fox News is usually the punching bag because it’s the most heinous offender, but Jon and his cohorts will attack everyone that is being ridiculous, causing partisan hackery that helps no one make their own clear, intelligent, unbiased opinions. What’s the point of roundtable discussions if everyone agrees with each other for the most part or disagrees with each other so much that all they do is yell and make fallacious arguments? It’s a “whoever screams the loudest wins” thought process and it’s causing a drift into a middle-ages like depression of unintelligent thought.

I love The Daily Show…I hope it never ends.